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Eat Your Greens



Estimated reading time — < 1 minute

My mother always told me to eat my greens. Like most I was a fussy and picky child and didn’t want anything to do with the disgusting looking mass of otherworldly slime that she slopped onto my plate every meal. Give me meat, give me dinner rolls, anything but that!

“Eat your greens so you grow up big and strong. If all you eat is meat and sweets, you’ll just turn into an aggressive thug,” she always told me. Well, I certainly didn’t want to be a thug. I was a nice person, you know. I was always polite to everyone and always patient too. I couldn’t stand those jerks who played football and stuffed other kids into lockers.

“You’ll just have to repay them with kindness and outlast them with patience,” my mother always advised.

Well Mother, I guess you were right. I will be more kind and patient than all the thugs and jerks. See? I invited the jerk over for dinner. Wasn’t that nice of me mother? I’ll even eat all my greens this time to make doubly sure that I won’t turn into a thug!

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I just wish that it didn’t take so long for the human body to turn green. I’m getting really hungry and my dessert will soon spoil, Mother.

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Credit To – Cosmo Fish

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57 thoughts on “Eat Your Greens”

  1. In my opinion, this story was great! I mean, yes, I’ve seen better, but I believe this just needs a few tweaks here and there. People are saying more detail, and giving scientific facts, but that’s the beauty of this story. To not give striking detail about the characters or setting ect. ect.
    But, I do believe that it could be better, eh, I’ll use “explained,” but only for the lack of a better word. No, it doesn’t need MORE explanation, it just needs a bit different explanation. Maybe.
    But, then again, what if the killer is a child? Of course, the child would think a human’s body would turn green, and wouldn’t think about getting sick. I mean, the story never said the body turned green YET. It only gave the comment that it was taking too LONG. Then, the way it’s explained makes sense, because, well, what child do you know that explains things perfectly the first time? Then, the mother has even more place.
    Why am I giving this long paragraph? Well, I think everyone in the comments should think deeply before judging. That’s what stories like this are supposed to do. Make you think. Ask questions. Stuff like that. Thank you, and have sweet, bloody, nightmares.
    ~Slayer

  2. Humph… No wonder I hate vegetables basically this “Story” No matter how pathetic is considered a creepypasta if you don’t get it this kids mom is killing kids and letting them rot until there green so the kid can eat it that sounds disgusting but this story is 110% Crap I mean come on someone read this slowly and it took 1:30 for him to read this it literally sucks

  3. Let’s hope this isn’t like a 6 year old kids first ever attempt at a story who’s having his soul crushed by some of these comments >.<

  4. Matthew Partlett

    I like the concept but the thing that annoys me is that the corpse will never turn green. I think that the story would be better if the patience that the character exhibits in the build up was used to foreshadow a dream of cannibalism and not so much the reality.

    For example the last line should not be ‘I just wish that it didn’t take so long for the human body to turn green. I’m getting really hungry and my dessert will soon spoil, Mother’
    but instead be
    ‘I just wish I knew if the body would ever turn green… Mother won’t let me have dessert until it does’ or words to that effect.
    It alludes that this is his first time and also insinuates that the mother is involved in some way.
    Just a thought. I do think the whole thing needs work but the concept is quite a good one.

  5. Johnny Cash/Taylor LeVine/Deadpool/The Punisher/John Leguizamo/Master Shake

    (Deep Sigh), okay.
    Guys, I liked this one.

  6. I feel like if anything, he should have eaten the ‘thug’ person with his greens. Like “Don’t worry mother, I’m still eating my greens. I just like my meat so much better” o something. Waiting for an actual human to turn green would be a very long wait (if they ever do turn green. I’m not sure if they do) and would probably make him deadly sick. It was a good story idea!

  7. This story made no freaking sence. I mean,the story was okay when it first started but the last two paragraphs sucked!

    1. AidenArtemisBlackWolf

      Word of advice, learn how to spell a few words. “sence” is not a word, however, next time try the word “sense” then perhaps you won’t destroy the minds of intelligent people with you horrid spelling.
      – Love from Aiden –

  8. Great story, but it needs some more sauce. Add more details; for a short story, it was unique and acceptable.

    To all of you saying the story is lame and a bore, better watch what you say, you might cause someone to commit suicide. It’s called ‘Throwing Down Someone’s Confidence”.
    Good Day to you all and a truly miserable night :}
    ~AnonymousGrin

  9. TheCreamyCheesecake

    I dunno what pasta you guys read but I like it. (btw trenderman is slendermans trendy cousin not his cool brother.) 7/10

  10. I was going to let this go. But Geez, this site has got to have one of the most pedantic userbases I’ve ever seen.

    No, fyi, I do not in fact believe that decaying bodies literally turn green by exact color wheel definitions. “Green” is just one of many colloquial descriptions of the color of a decomposing body that I’ve seen in my lifetime and I decided to use it as a pun for a bit of macabre humor. That’s all.

    If you didn’t like the result, fine by me. But you people are waaaaaay too nitpicky up in here.

    And to all the people saying it’s “too short” or “underdeveloped” I invite you to read the handy little “micropasta” label at the top there.

  11. this was okay, good idea, but more research on the human body and a little more detail and more paragraphs and yeah

    still cool idea tho 4/10

  12. *twitch*
    Holy… I can’t even…
    The story arc is the most pathetic. I mean, not even Micheal Whitehouse could take this and make it good. My soul just died a little bit and deflated on my shoe.

  13. I don’t know why this story was allowed on here. It started off sort of okay, but I don’t understand the “green body”. If the boy is suggesting that he killed the “jerk”, then spray painted him green? Maybe, but it was executed horribly. Would not classify this as a micropasta, but a crappypasta? Definitely.
    2.35/10

  14. WhatDoesTheFoxSay

    OKAY!! Here is what I think.
    1) DUDE IS OBVIOUSLY PSYCHO!
    2) I’m sorry, but I don’t understand how I can be the only one who realizes why he “waited for the body to turn green.” (He’s PSYCHO, so this is his way of saying “SCREW YOU MOM, IMMA EAT MAH GREENS.” It’s a “tribute” to his mom. He took all of his psycho and dedicated it to his mother. So sweet!)
    3) This WAS a good story! You just have to be open-minded about the premesis of the idea.
    4) I think with a little more time and dedication, this story could’ve been even more amazing!
    5) Lol, imma have like -129 votes… :3
    Anywho, that’s just my opinion. :)

  15. This was just awful. There hasn’t been very many times where a pasta has disappointed me. But this was pretty bad.

  16. What Shaft said. It was a good concept, but then they were late for school or something and rushed off.

    Incomplete, rushed…

  17. I agree completely with Katherine C. The idea was wonderful through the start to the middle. The last two to three sentences was the part where everything fell apart. This could be a great story if you would please clarify the end.

  18. This was a decent idea that, but it feels like the author was too lazy or too time constricted to make it into an actual story

  19. I’m guessing cannibalism? I think? Though, personally, I’m not sure a decomposing body will ever turn green, per say. Decomp is also not my area of expertise, so I’ll just let that slide. I like the mother’s catchphrases. They are saccharine and cliche, but do echo some of those eating myths that have been so prevalent. And a little bit of maternal guilt, just for good measure. I also like the “kindness and patience” theme that emerges, as he shows kindness by inviting them, and patience by waiting. I think this story fell a bit flat in the reveal, managing to say too much and not enough somehow. The last two sentences seem to mostly give it away in a too obvious way, if cannibalism is the desired interpretation, but I’m left unsure if I missed something because I can’t logically have it make sense that he is waiting for a body to turn green. I guess this one just doesn’t make sense to me, so maybe I missed something? I don’t understand the logical leap from “eat your greens to not be a thug” to “eat a green thug to not be a thug.” I think it is an interesting concept, and just needs some additional clarity on the direction and intent of the narrator to pull it all together.

  20. First-to get it out of my system- that was pathetic.

    Now since I know you want real feedback. The story and twist are frankly disjointed. I mean even a crazy person is gonna realize that his mother wasn’t saying it’s OK to eat anything just because it’s green. What he’s eating is still meat.
    But most importantly: Unless the buildup is awesome, the twist MUST be better than he/she eats people. Look at the ratings, you just have to do better.

    1. I was going to try and say something about this… whatever it is… but this Asteroth person here said it all already.

      So I’m just gonna sit back and take some comfort in the fact that eating someone who’s been dead long enough to completely change colour–

      (though really, green is kinda… pushing it a bit much… I mean seriously, take a look at how a decomposing body tends to progress and tell me where this “green” is meant to be – though I recommend google or books or whatever for that, not a more hands-on study; if you’ve got the nerve for it try the YNC or BestGore maybe?)

      –is pretty much guaranteed to make little mister not-a-thug very fucking sick. Or you know, if we’re lucky, also dead.

      As a side note though, I couldn’t help but picture the Gangreen Gang from the Powerpuff Girls – ie these guys: http://tinyurl.com/kwl4yqs (I really wish I knew how to just insert the picture there, dammit) – and I must admit it made the whole thing slightly less terrible. Slightly.

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