Advertisement
Please wait...

Early From Work



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

Margaret had, as usual, been left to the confines of her bedroom. With her father working the night shift and her mother ill with pneumonia, she didn’t have anyone to talk to. The only noise was the ticking of the clock, the slight humming of the radiator in the corner, and her own thoughts.

She did not sleep well for a nine year old. School was not hard. Life at home was fairly quiet. No reason to be stressed. But something inexplicable always seemed to occupy her mind. As if it would never seem to cease generating irrelevant questions and thoughts. “I wonder how black bears always manage to-”

A small bump in the kitchen downstairs, clearly audible from her bedroom, interrupted her mental tangent. It was most likely her cat Sid harassing a mouse. Her door was cracked a bit after all. he was a noisy pet.

She began to drift off to sleep, the time on the analog clock read 2:27, dimly lit by a streetlamp through the semi closed blinds of her window. The smell of the old house relaxing her.

She awoke again, unsure of the time, due to the fact that the street lamp must have gone out. The city’s power grid was very inconsistent. The usual rhythm of the small two-story home was interrupted once again by the noisy cat down stairs. “Oh Sid!”, She grumbled. Margaret sat up and turned on the lamp on next to her bed, to read the time. As soon as the switch on the light clicked, the thumping in the kitchen ceased. The clock read 3:48. “That’s interesting.” She thought. The cat must have heard the light turn on and refrained from bumping around. Then the realization struck her. The cat was not down stairs. He had been curled up against the radiator this entire time.

Advertisements

Maggie was about to call for her mother to complain about the obnoxious random bumping in the kitchen. But before she said anything, she stopped herself. It would be terribly inconsiderate to wake her sick mother before the break of dawn to complain about an old house making noise.

Advertisements

She turned the light out and curled up in her blankets. Some time had passed. The bumping did not re-occur. However, she did hear, the side door opening down stairs and the footsteps of an average weight man. Her father must be home early. He wasn’t due back home for another hour and a half. It was about four AM in mid winter so the sun was no where near the horizon. There was a long pause in his movement until his light foot steps moving up the creaky old stair case broke the silence and grew closer to her room. It was unusual that he came to visit Maggie when he arrived from work. As the sound of the grown man treading down the hall towards her room, she sat up in the pitch darkness. The doorknob turned and the door opened. “Hey, Dad.” she said.

There was no reply. She couldn’t even see his silhouette. Just then the street lamp flickered back on again, lighting the room enough through the blinds to see his shape. But to her horror, what stood in the doorway before her did not even resemble her dad. Or a human. She was in shock. She couldn’t move. A squeaky sounding “whaaa?” Came from her. She was paralyzed. And by the time Margaret had found the voice to scream, it was too late.

Please wait...

Copyright Statement: Unless explicitly stated, all stories published on Creepypasta.com are the property of (and under copyright to) their respective authors, and may not be narrated or performed under any circumstance.

23 thoughts on “Early From Work”

  1. While it had a little suspense build up through the bump in the kitchen it kind of didn’t lead anywhere, and the whole build up of suspense in the end was irrelevant… sorry, but as a early try it’s not so bad and would like to see your skills grow

  2. BeansExplodingAgainstThem

    It was the bear wasn’t? I know her feels. How do black bears always manage to get in your house and walk up the stairs like they’re humans and scare you, and traumatize you? Yeah, I know this struggle. Makes me wonder all the time. Bears are tricky creatures. You look at them and all, “They’re so cute!!” Then…well, then you’re dead. Yeah, totally know this feel.

  3. it feels like a read part from an intro to a Supernatural plot. like in the beginning of the show, the monster grabs some unknown little girl.

  4. Jericho The Author

    Thanks for the input guys! I like the constructive criticism. My writing abilities aren’t that great and I was kinda expecting this to head to crappy pasta. I wanted the dark figure to just remain a dark figure because I wanted to leave the image up to your imagination. I find it that, in books and short stories, my own imagination scares me more than some description of a big scary monster (Unless of course, it’s a very scary monster created by someone with much more experience than me) I like to maintain an element of mystery. (even though the plot here was absolutely transparent)
    I’m a 13 year old insomniac so I wrote this at about 3 Am out of boredom. I’m new to this website and all so I really appreciate when the criticism doesn’t just consist of over analyzing and insults.

    Thanks again

    1. Hi, Jericho. This is Fumbles, author of a crappypasta “Giraffes.” I just wanted to say I’m thirteen and in the exact same position as you. Keep writing, I liked it.

  5. Not as good as it could have been, a bit too much left to the imagination, not enough detail, had good build up, but not a good ending.

    -Herobrine

    Always watching…

  6. Kinda dull. I can understand not showing the monster in too much detail (though it works better in movies), but saying just “wasn’t human” is a bit excessive. Also, there is hardly a plot in the story. She is in bed, hears thumping in the kitchen, something comes into the house, end.
    And the bumping in the kitchen turns out to really be the house making noise after all, duh!

  7. She Wants the D-ark

    Kinda saw this coming. Still liked the dark figure in the room at the end… that always works to give me chills. I used to have my hoodie parked on the vacuum cleaner in my bedroom, the wrong light hits it and it looks like a mini reaper come to drag me into hell for people under a certain height…

    1. WhatDoesTheFoxSay

      I swear the best part about reading these comments is the names of the people… And the stuff they say :) #shewantsthed-ark (my favorite so far) :D

  8. Too much was left up to the imagination here, at least give me a little bit of something to be afraid of, well written definitely, just didn’t deliver in congruence with the build-up.

Leave a Reply to CMT Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top