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Creaking



Estimated reading time — 5 minutes

Ever since I could remember, ever since I had been a child, I had been afraid of the dark depths of any sea or deep lake. Dark blue or green water had a nauseating affect on me, and seaweed dancing sinuously at the bottom of pools made me shudder. Worse than that, however, was the feeling I got when viewing a large, upright stone or the hulk of a barnacle-encrusted wreck of a ship or submarine looming, ghost-like, out of black waters. Sights like these made me tremble with fear and look constantly over my shoulder, afraid to one day see behind me a rusty hull, corroded pale green by barnacles, swaying and creaking horribly…

At the same time as being horrified, I found the fear ridiculous. Far away from any truly large bodies of water, and therefore, far away from any sunken ships – besides which, how would they just appear behind me? – I was safe for the nonce.

However, two years after receiving my degree in archaeology, I found myself relegated to an island off a coast of South America, with a group intent on digging up a series of standing stones, the tips of which had been spotted by a native over a week ago.

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I soon came to realize that our entire excavation was a mistake – we should have given up early on, we should have not even come. I am not a superstitious person by any means, but as bad luck and accidents continued to assail us, I knew that someone, something, was trying to warn us away.

At first, it was merely storms, and I was silent, believing it to be bad luck, nothing more – storms were highly common around this area, after all. But the storms became wilder and wilder, and when this did not deter us, an odd brittleness seemed to creep into our tools, which broke over and over. Nervous jokes became common within the group, but my suspicions were only aroused at this time.

Our communication to the outside world kept going down, technical difficulty after difficulty, which caused our excavation to halt almost completely time after time. I suggested we give up our endeavor, but my advice was turned down – we were halfway done, the others argued, we couldn’t just give up on such an important discovery, not just because of a little bad luck.

But it wasn’t just bad luck. If only the fools had listened…

So, we continued. Storms had not stopped us, nor had difficulties with tools or communication. Now, the presence that was trying to warn us became harsh. Accidents began to happen, accidents that, at first, merely wounded our pride. Harsher still, the presence became – twisted ankles and wrists, sore muscles, fevers and sickness, broken bones. I had become frantic. I pleaded for them to stop. They tried to soothe me with promises that tomorrow would be the last day – only a few more pounds of earth, and then we could see the stones, the strangely carved and shaped stones, in all their glory.

Tomorrow came. The stones were uncovered, and rose from the ground like a row of rotting teeth. They had an odd, pale green tint to them – an odd tint that makes me shudder to remember it now. We thought it was some kind of vegetable matter, but when one from our group tried brushing it off, he found that the residue on the brush was curiously like rust. Even still, it was easy to see the strange markings carved into the stone, markings that seemed to hover above the foul coloring, markings that depicted… but I cannot, will not describe it fully. The damned implications… a scaly being larger than a whale… bulging, fishy eyes, gills, bloated lips… monstrosity from that dark, indistinct world I so feared and hated… half fish, half… God, I must stop, I am already half-mad…

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A figment of imagination from a long dead culture. After realizing that this was all it could be, the group breathed easier. Silly to be so fearful of an obviously fake being, created by a people who were merely thankful to the bounty of the ocean.

That deep, dark, hateful ocean…

The day passed quickly. No accidents, no bad luck, no difficulties. We contacted our base in Washington, preparing transportation of the stones. We stood around our discovery, unease replaced by a moment’s pride, sharing opinions and hypothesis about our megaliths.

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Perhaps, after all, we had merely been jinxed – if only that was the case. That night, I was to realize that our luck had not changed, but had merely worsened. The presence that had tried so desperately to chase us away, to protect us from our horrible fate, had left us, had given up. Such is the folly of man and his greed for knowledge, knowledge of dark, unknown things, things that mankind should not awaken, things mankind has no earthly right to know about, lest madness wrap around us and drag us screaming into the black abyss of Sheol…

That night, my peaceful sleep was interrupted by a noise, a noise that haunts me right now as I struggle to keep quiet, to not scream and alert it to my hiding place – a noise that has, however, strengthened my resolve to end everything after my tale is told. The world must know that some things are better left alone…

I awoke slowly, not realizing what had jarred me out of my dreams at first. But as my grogginess faded, and the noise grew louder – it was coming closer – I began to shiver beneath my light cover.

The creaking… the creaking of a rusty ship, looming out of the dark, behind me…

I darted out of the tent, looking wildly around for the thing that could make such a sound on dry land. Left, right… up.

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And when I saw the monstrous sight, looming over the trees, staring with its glazed, bulging eyes, its mouth with the puffy, obscene lips parting to make that sound, a wild scream tore from my throat and I ran. I ran from it, leaving my comrades behind like a coward. I can only pray that they were able to run, to hide, and if not get away, I pray their end was quick and painless, although I fear that is not the way of this beast.

I do not know what we unearthed. I do not know what was so important about those grotesque stones that the daemon surfaced because of our finding them. I do know why huge stones and wrecks under fathoms of water bother me so – it was never the object, but the resemblance to a half-remembered, aeons old dark being, covered in barnacles, pale green and white and red-brown in color, making that awful, nonliving creaking noise, slowly appearing, rising, rearing out of dark, unknown depths…

I am thankful I sleep with a pistol. Now I will end it – for I know there is no chance of escaping. Even if I could, what of my sanity? I have seen the thing, I have seen Dagon, fish god of man’s earliest ancestors, unholy creature that still resides in our being… and yet, my tale will merely be laughed at. I will be confined to an asylum…

So I will put the gun to my head, and pull the trigger, and sweet, peaceful oblivion will be mine.

The creaking. It’s so close. I would have been fine… have died quickly, with some semblance of sanity intact. But the noise caused me to pause, to stiffen, and to slowly set the gun down. I continue to write because I do not want to give into my maddening desire to look over my shoulder. But I must. I must look, even though I could pick up the gun right now and end it all without looking… because I know what I shall see. My greatest fear will be realized once I finish this sentence – when I turn and look, I will see a rust colored body, corroded pale green by barnacles, swaying and creaking horribly…
Credit To – Apocrypha
Credit Link – [email protected]

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45 thoughts on “Creaking”

  1. It was good! I just want to know where he was, that he couldn’t have escaped… And, why he was so auick to give in

  2. The Lovecraftian atmosphere, although “light”, is nicely rendered. I am not sold on the ending. If the creature approaches so slowly (or simply stays there and does nothing long enough) to allow the narrator to write quite a long paragraph and still have time to turn and look afterward (the last sentence is complete, so he was not interrupted), one would think that it could be outrun pretty easily, even if it meant running around the island for the rest of the guy’s life.

  3. i know this might sound off topic but if i didnt know better id say you are an elder scrolls fan my evidence: dagon – short for mehrunes dagon daedric prince of evil and destruction. also you said oblivion – could be a coincidence and your name is apocrypha – again could be a coincidence or your just referencing this site and yourself for holding stories and knowledge just like apocrypha

  4. All around very good! Better descriptions than Lovecraft in my opinion. The whole “I’m being hunted by some horrible beasty but let me pause for a moment to discuss my situation” theme always kills a pasta for me. Mostly because I find myself screaming “put down the pen and run, jackass!” But I suppose without it we wouldn’t have nearly as many stories to read.

  5. I’m sorry, but I felt the story didn’t need the fear of boats mentioned at all. You could have started on the island and gone from there.

  6. Meh. I like your use of words and I think that things were described well, but I just did not feel any creepiness from this. Maybe it’s just me though.

  7. When I heard the description of the monster all I could picture was a whale with legs that walked around on land. I have no idea why.

  8. Someone’s been reading H. P. Lovecraft. I can definitely see his style in this, and I think it was well written. However, I believe it followed the original Dagon story far too closely. They both have someone finding a strange standing stone, seeing a carving on it of some fish thing larger than a whale, the fish god appears, the narrator flees, he commits suicide at the end for fear of the god following him. Overall, it seems to be a rewriting of Dagon, without improving on it too much. Not that it doesn’t have some good parts, but I know you can do better.

  9. Big fan of H.P Lovecraft right? It’s good, there’s something about his mythology that’s unnerving even by reverence. The hopelessness against an ancient evil older than the world we know. . lovelystuff.

  10. Very good story! nice descriptions and vocabulary, also a very entertaining story. This reminded me alot, I mean a LOT of HP Lovecraft; not because of ocean mosters but of the writing style… Congratulations!

  11. really good, creepy pasta! i enjoyed reading it and i liked the way you ended it! it was a great piece and i thoroughly enjoyed it! i hope that you write more creepy pastas like this in the future! :)

  12. It’s pretty common for amateur horror writers to try to do the Lovecraft thing. This is one of the interpretations that cleaves closest to actual Lovecraft. But, not to be picky, in my mind that’s a problem: It’s great that this writer has worked hard to capture the signature style of a popular and influential author, but this story doesn’t branch out much. It’s pretty much one part “The Shadow Out of Time” mushed into one half “Dagon.” I hate to be critical, since it’s head and shoulders above most of this site’s content in terms of the prose, but it comes up short on plotting.

    1. I found this story to be very Lovecraft-esque.. Unfortunately, it was in an unappealing manner. Perhaps if the author had attempted to branch out a bit, merely using Lovecraft as an inspiration rather than as a blue print the story could have achieved its own originality.

  13. Once I read about the carvings on the ruins, I realized that this pasta was likely inspired by Mr. Lovecraft, and started to dislike it for the lack of originality. However, I failed in my attempt, and rather liked the story. It was also a bit strange the way he was afraid of being chased by old ships, I wonder if there’s a name for that phobia…

    1. See above comment on Dagon.

      And yes, a fear of sunken ships. Phobias are not always rational, but it’s still valid, and you’re the one who looks like an asshole for making fun of someone for it. ^_^

  14. In my opinion, a good pasta has to be something we can relate to, either in character, the character’s actions, or events which pass. That way, as something scary happens, it unsettles us, as we feel it could happen even to us. The scary thing also should be believable in some way. There has to be some chance that it could happen.

    For me, this pasta filled none of these requirements.

  15. For one brief, horrifying moment (not the good kind of horrifying), I thought you would go the kindergarten route and have them discover the island is actually a big jaw and then it swallows them.

    But this… best pasta I’ve read in quite a while! You have a strong ability to simultaneously convey both the mood as well as descriptive narrative. Keep writing, I’d love to see more of your work :)

  16. What? I’m a tad confused. I really liked it but the description of the boat fish like thing kind of threw me off. If anyone is willing to share their interpretation of this delectable pasta it would be greatly appreciated :)

    1. The boat fish like thing is Dagon, an Assyro-Babylonian fish god who is probably best known as basically an abyssal creature of horror from a few H.P. Lovecraft stories.

      The story is a genre-and-style homage to Lovecraft, combining the author’s personal fear of sunken watercraft with a Lovecraftian theme.

      (Personally know author.)

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