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He is Coming Back



Estimated reading time — 3 minutes

I looked down at Juliet lying in my lap. Her quiet form was beyond angelic. It was a little early for her to be sleeping, but I just couldn’t bring myself to move her. My little angel, she had such a hard day. Not only was she sick earlier today, but her father walked out on us.

My husband just left. He packed his clothing and left. There was no preamble. There was no warning. He just walked out a hardened look on his face. Our marriage was strained at best. The conversations we carried rarely lasting more than a few brief moments, but the one thing we could agree on was our daughter. Juliet was the light of our lives.

I sat on the couch reminiscing about our dying marriage, while gently stroking her baby fine hair. I looked down at her. Her hair was the color of mahogany. The same color as her fathers. A tear escaped my eye, gently landing on her face. All the while thinking more and more on what I had failed at.

We were fighting all the time, until we finally snapped. The fight was as volatile as it could be without fists flying. I stormed off to my daughter’s room to comfort her crying. Giving her more Benadryl to help with her cough, I held her in my arms. She went to sleep her breathing slowed, and she was out.

Resting her head in my lap I sat there for hours, staring at the wall. How could my husband leave me? We were everything to each other. He will be back; I know this in every fiber of my being. I continued to stroke Juliet’s hair. My husband would be back, I keep repeating this internal mantra. Over and over, for what seemed like hours or days, I continued to repeat this.

This whole fight, everything, was all over him having another mistress. I was getting him back, one way or another. With no regard to anything that anyone would say or do, I would get my husband back, at no expense. He had no choice. I knew he would be back, he was mine. No one else could stake that claim to him, I would never allow it.

My daughter stirred in my lap, and looked up at me with sad eyes.

“He is not coming back, mommy.” Her voice like a thousand angels speaking at once, both comforted me and broke my heart. My perfect angel lay her head back down in my lap just as it was before.

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The sound of banging on the house door registered to my mind, yet I could not focus on it. Still I continued to stroke my daughter’s hair. The footsteps racing down the hall still were ignored by my mind.

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My angel lay still in my lap, the poor thing. The door to the room we were sitting in was busted down, and rushed by a group of men in swat gear. I couldn’t hear the screaming. Juliet’s words were still ringing in my ears.
“He is not coming back, mommy.”

The officers swarmed me. They took my baby from my lap. I know I screamed; I wanted my husband. Where was he? They took the empty bottle of Benadryl off of the night stand. They continued to yell at me, while gently placing my child into a black bag.

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My poor baby, she had such a hard day. She was sick, her daddy left us. However, I know she is happy. As often happens with children her age, she was wrong. I know she was wrong. Her daddy does not love his mistress. He is mine.

My sweet angel, she had such a hard day. Tomorrow will be better; I know her daddy will come back. I continue to smile lovingly at her as the man zippers up the black bag she is in. Her daddy will be back. He is mine.

Credit To – Ahriannah

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51 thoughts on “He is Coming Back”

  1. You should look up a Benadryl overdose. You don’t fall peacefully asleep and die. You have hallucinations, seizures, vomiting, defecating yourself, etc. That’s only one of the reasons this pasta didn’t do it for me.

  2. … i have no comment… my name is Juliet…. and when i was young my dad walked out on my mom for another women… their fights were always violent… and the last fight before the split my mom came and comforted me in my room…. and she calls me her angel… im scared now….

  3. Y’know, if you really wanted to up your creep factor, you could tweak your story so that the “mistress” of the husband was in fact the daughter which Mom murders. (she can be molested or consentual, your choice.) Its convenient since you never quite gave Daughter an age…

    Hell, Shakespeare’s Juliet was 14 when she died

    And if you rearrange your timeline a bit so that the daughter gets benadryled and THEN the father leaves, you wouldn’t need the mystery neighbors to explain the unnamed deathsmell :)

  4. This story was really weird I didn’t like it I like those really short ones that actually give me a chill up my spine, not my type of story

  5. Hello today we will be looking at depressingpasta. If you think your life is not depressing enough, this page is for you.

  6. FUCK THIS PASTA DOESNT EVEN MAKES SENSES FUCK THIS SHIT!!! (That’s how my cousin would comment when he sees this pasta but foe me it’s 2/10 cuz it really didn’t make senses

  7. Good pasta. It would have been better if you had used an actual cough medicine such as Dimetapp or Delsym in lieu of the antihistamine Benadryl because the FDA actually does not recommend giving cough and cold medications to children younger than 6 because of the potential OD. Just a suggestion from a premed ;)

    1. That was kind of the point. As someone in the medical profession myself (I am a Corpsman in the Navy) I know why Benadryl is not prescribed for children, but people give it to their kids anyways.

      I wanted to use something common and would serve its purpose in the story.

  8. I will be using those from now on.

    Natasha Bear:
    Every story on here about parents talking about their kids always sounds the same. Like “my sweet angel” “my glorious spawn” “my enamoring hatchling”
    Okay, they don’t say those last two..but they should.

  9. momo_is_creepyninja

    I’m not sure how to react to this but, I’m new so I wouldn’t know now to react to it anyway. C :

  10. Totally confused here, so the child looked up and said mommy hes not coming back then she was dead? Was she really dead? What about the husband?

  11. After i read the comments and all the answer i get is that child is dead and the mother killed her child for her husband and her husband is hers but how can the child talk O.o

  12. Ahriannah (Inadvertantly Cooler):
    No the child is dead. The swat team is there because, they are unsure of life of the child.

    The neighbors called it in. due to the smell of death. I see now that I need to work a bit on my story line in and of itself.

    I thank you for the comment, however.

    No problem, thanks for explaining it to me. -Ali

  13. That was actually really good. I don’t know why Ariannah, i’ve never got anything negative to say about your pastas. If one must give you some feedback though, it would be that it lacked some scary sauce. 8/10
    Keep up the good work!

    1. I appreciate it Pasta, I do kind of see where it was lacking however. I don’t take the feedback in any kind of personal way, but writing is about your audience.

      If the audience as a collective do not like it there is a reason for it. It needs some work, but every story is a learning experience. So I smile and work with it.

      I do thank you for all of the positive things you have said however. (Even MY ego needs a boost now and then.)

  14. The question begs- Who are the swat team men?
    It could possibly be the father and a few other of his aquaintices getting his precious daughter back.
    Or just some fucked up kidnappers.
    Anyway, this most likely leaves readers confused or determined to find out more.
    It was more sad than creepy like others have said. It is traumatic from such a heartbreakingly terrible ending of that marriage. But if I was the mother and wasn’t fucked up in the head, I would fight those kidnappers, with any possible resource I had. In conclusion, this was a fair pasta. 6/10

    1. No the child is dead. The swat team is there because, they are unsure of life of the child.

      The neighbors called it in. due to the smell of death. I see now that I need to work a bit on my story line in and of itself.

      I thank you for the comment, however.

  15. HelloThisIsDog456

    It was ok, but cliche but a swat team isn’t needed unless there was negotiations. Like the dad wanted his kid back but the mom ended up poisoning her anyways. sad and not really creepy but it was ok. 5/10

  16. PHYSCHOPATH666

    amazing story it was funny I loved how the mothers a physchopath its hilarious.The daughter was probraly a little brat she prob mad the mom mad so she killed her daughter!!!and people sorry if I wierded u out u know I am a physcho path HAHAHHAHHAHHAA!!!!

  17. The whole “in a trance of denile while bad things happen around you” thing, is slightly worn out. It wasn’t terrible just a little hard to follow. Did she die from her sickness? Or did her mother hold her until she died in her lap? It was alright I guess, just not very creepy.

  18. I know that she is waiting for her husband to come back, but I was sort of thinking that she may have killed him during their big fight and was delusional (just like how she was with her child) about him coming back. That was my take on it. Thank you Ahrianna! :)

  19. Ahriannah (Feeling 20% Less cool)

    It was supposed to show a woman willing to stop at nothing to get her husband’s attention. Even with the risk to get child’s life. Benadryl was chosen because it was available as the child’s medicine. A young child could easily od when given a whole bottle over time.

    the reasoning for the seat team was because of the several days she spent with her child.

    I am sorry that I could not properly put forward what I wanted to. This was my first attempt at creepy…and honestly…the thought of a mother going and killing her child scares the hell out of me.

  20. Doesn’t Johnson & Johnson make a non-killing children’s Benadryl?

    Not particularly creepy (I’m neither a mother nor capable of being lovelorn), but you do have a good writer’s voice – one that can elicit thought and emotion in the reader, as well as show and tell – something I believe is just as important as a story’s ‘concept’. More creativity is needed, though. Something in the lines of the daughter’s thoughts as she is lying dead in the body bag. She is thinking about her mother the same way the mom is pining for her unfaithful husband. As the paramedics pull away from the house, the zipper slowly slides down, and a small, clutching hand is thrust through the opening.

  21. Ahriannah! Nice to see a story of yours up here. I think it is very well written, and I very much enjoyed the progression of ideas in here. I think you probably gave it away a bit too soon, leaving the end feeling a bit like a rehash, but it’s an interesting idea. Nice touch with the name Juliet. I also liked the angel reference, as it explained what was happening without being too explicit. Very sad, again. Is this depressing Pasta week? Or am I just oversensitive to the sad stuff?

    I think the idea is presented well. I really enjoyed your tone and style of writing; very engaging for me! But the plot is a little overdone, and it does not really waver too far from expectations of this sort of story. I’m also not clear as to how this will bring her husband back. I was assuming there would be some major revelation about his status at the end, but there wasn’t. It felt like, given how the narrator was explaining things, this was a bit of a lose end or almost diversionary from the heart of the story. The narrator’s internal monologue also got a bit repetitive, and there was very little substantive information. It was interesting, but I found myself skimming a bit just because the phrases were in there so many times.

    Also, and this is super nitpicky, it’s pretty hard to OD on Benadryl. I mean, it’s definitely not impossible, but I might have just chosen a different med, to provide a bit more believablity (but seriously, people rarely die from OD-ing, even with dosages as high as 600mg unless they have an existing heart/lung problem). But, I really enjoyed it from a story prospective. It wasn’t super creepy to me, and as I said, I’ve read a lot of similar stories, but it was a nice piece of prose. Thanks, and happy writing!

  22. Not bad. A few errors but nothing glaring. However, yes- this story is a bit on the dark side, but more along the lines a sad lifetime movie, not necessarily creepy. Also, most likely the husband wouldn’t have left the child with her if he knew she’d snapped, but if the swat team arrived someone had to have called the police. Did she hold the child hostage for a ransom of her husbands love? Did he want to save his child but his American pride wouldn’t let him negotiate with terrorists? Did she poison him too and therefore could not over power his digruntled wife. I guess it would also explain her deceased daughters sureness of him not coming back.
    Yeah, moreorless a bummer than a horror.

  23. I don’t want to sound like a b*tech but I knew the daughter was dead as soon as I read there was a kid. Its Been done before .. nice story. 7/10

  24. Every story on here about parents talking about their kids always sounds the same. Like “my sweet angel” “my glorious spawn” “my enamoring hatchling”
    Okay, they don’t say those last two..but they should.

  25. Wait…what? I’m confused. I know someone walking out on their spouse is mentally traumatic, but that wouldn’t explain the mother going down that fast, unless she was already mentally ill, and in that case the father would probably know and not leave without his daughter.

    Also, people don’t just come barging into your room to kidnap your children while you are in there. Unless your famous for something, or rich. Even then there’s a very slight chance that they will.

    Overall 5/10 for keeping me in the dark and not elaborating.

    1. I think the mother gave her daughter too much Benadryl and killed her because it says, “The officers swarmed me. They took my baby from my lap…They took the empty bottle of Benadryl off of the night stand. They continued to yell at me, while gently placing my child into a black bag.” The mention of the empty bottle of Benadryl implies that the mother gave her daughter the entire bottle of Benadryl, thus killing her. The description of the officers putting her daughter in “a black bag” also suggests that the daughter is dead, because the black bag could possibly be a body bag.

  26. This wasn’t creepy or scary or anything!! If there was a site called “depressingpasta” this would be the perfect story!

  27. Wasn’t creepy at all….just plain freakin sad. Hate when children have to die in these things! And in all honesty…the story didn’t even make any sense.

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