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Bill Nye the Horror Guy



Estimated reading time — 3 minutes

I have been suffering from insomnia for quite a while now. No, it’s not because of Reddit. When I do sleep, I have this reoccurring dream. I suppose “reoccurring dream” is putting it lightly. Let’s call it a “reoccurring shit-your-pants party”.

During this “dream” it starts out like any normal day. I wake up, curse the sunlight as usual, and go to school. When I show up at school I realize I forgot to put on pants. I don’t give a shit, I just start singing “I’m sexy and I know it” until a teacher gives me some clothes to put on. Talk about a day in the life of HeartlessAtAFuneral. It’s when I go to class that it starts to get weird. For starters, I somehow make my way to the biology classroom. I don’t even take biology, but in the dream it doesn’t even phase me until I wake up. It’s always the same thing. “Alright class, today we will be starting a new project.”

Then the weirdest thing happens, but like I said, in the dream it all seems normal to me. The class stands up (myself included) and we all commence clapping and cheering as confetti somehow appears out of nowhere. “Today, we will be dissecting a human body.” More cheering and applauding. Then a man in a dark cloak comes out with a bunch of people on trays. Now I start to sense something wrong, even in the dream. The people are all still alive. Nevertheless, I don’t want to fail this class and have to get sodomized by the principal (like I said, I don’t question many things in this dream) so I commence the dissection. As I cut into my human, he doesn’t scream or do anything. He just looks up at me with a big happy grin on his face.

After I finish the dissection, the man in the cloak brings my human up to the front of the class for everyone to judge my work. I always seem to do a shitty job, because as he brings the tray with my human on it to the front of the class, I start to hear whispers. Then the whispers start to become more audible. After about 15 seconds, I understand what they are saying. “You’re next, you’re next, you’re next, you’re next.” their chants get louder and louder until they turn into a scream “YOU’RE NEXT! YOU’RE NEXT! YOU’RE NEXT!” They start to close in on me so I run out of the classroom. Despite all my classmates wanting me on a dissection tray, all I can think of is “shit, I forgot my pencil in the classroom”

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Long story short, they catch up with me and I end up on a tray as a man in a dark cloak carries me out into a classroom full of cheering and confetti. He lays my tray down on a table and one of the classmates begins to work on me. “wait a minute. . . ” I think to myself. “I recognize that face. . . That’s the human I dissected earlier. Wait, no this can’t be! It’s me. . . ” Upon realizing this, I scream. I scream and I scream some more. I scream until my lungs are ready to burst. Then I notice something odd. I’m not screaming. I’m trying to, but my body won’t let me. All I can do is stare blankly up at myself with this big stupid grin on my face. Then, I wake up. It seems like an abrupt end, but that’s just how it ends.

Recently, some of these strange happenings that go on in the dream start to leak out into the real world. Sometimes my teacher will spin their head sharply 180 degrees and say “You’re next”, or I will notice a person sitting next to me in English class is working on their dissection of a human body. I slap myself in the face and bring myself back to reality. I’m not safe from this shit-your-pants party. Not even when I’m awake.

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Credit: HeartlessAtAFuneral

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29 thoughts on “Bill Nye the Horror Guy”

  1. Despite what others may comment, I personally do like this story. It isn’t intensely gory, and has this slight creepy feel to it, while somewhat realistic. You incorporate what most people feel in dreams, unaware of the severity of their situation at the time, and those random thoughts one might have during their dream. All in all, I would say a 6/10. The ending was a bit odd, I had to read it over a few times to make sure what I was reading, but other than that a pretty good work.

  2. I liked this one. It made me laugh. Sometimes I need a break from the overly creepy and just laugh at something. This was funny, not creepy, but funny.

  3. 9 out of 10 for entertainment however its only slightly “creepy”, more strange than anything. Also a few minor tweaks to your ending would make it better like for example…

    “… Then just this morning I realized as I got off the bus at school, I had forgotten my pants!”

    then leave it to the readers imagination.

  4. SnugglySandwiches

    ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ_ಠ
    How the fuck was Bill Nye in this?!?

  5. :/ this could have been better I laughed more then I was scared and really XD I thought it was going to be like squidwards Suicide or something like that not this good story all around but not creepy

  6. …I had a dream when I was young. My best friend shot me with an arrow through my upper calf. It managed to leak through. Skyrim came out.

  7. I did not like. This one wasn’t scary in the least and, yeah, it would have been a funny dream to have, but your dreams don’t make good creepypastas.

  8. it really does sound like you had a dream and decided to post it here. not scary, kind of ridiculous. 2/10.

  9. it’s not that their dream is coming true it’s that they can’t escape it, they’re seeing it while awake, sounds like hell to me.
    also i really like the shit-your-pants-party bit
    also the bill nye telling you to kill yourself thing is a great idea

  10. From the title I thought that this was going to be a Bill Nye the Science Guy TV show creepypasta, like dead bart or squidward’s suicide with Bill Nye staring at you through the TV and telling you to kill yourself or something, but this story was ok. If you were going to do the “the dream becomes reality” thing at the end you probably should have continued it more by telling how it gets worse and worse every day until you are dissected in real life, the way it is right now is just kinda anticlimactic.

  11. BloodyNightmare

    I agree with blehj, people really do have ridiculous thoughts in their dreams and I was laughing so hard when you said all I could think about was how I forgot my pencil… XD I like how it loops too, really cool. Not very scary, on a scale of creepieness i’ll give it a 3. On a scale of entertainment i’ll give it a 10 :D

  12. It was pretty cool because of the whole “holy shit this is a real dream someone’s having” aspect, (as PhoneHat already mentioned) but it fails because of the whole “omg guise meh dreamz r bcming reyl n stuff” thing. The ending felt cliche, but not bad on the build up; this it totally salvageable. 4/10

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