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Behind the Veil



Estimated reading time — 3 minutes

There are some things that are not part of the world of the living; questions that should never be answered, places that should never be discovered. But there will always be fools who will try to. And those who do, suffer a fate worse than death. Worse than any torture ever conceived in the dark corners of the human mind.

One such place lies deep beneath the ground, in an unreachable cave. Its entrance hidden, invisible to everyone, except to those who are cursed. After a three-day descent towards the source of the foul air, wandering ever further from sunlight and its warmth, you reach a vast opening.

An empty hall, more grandiose in its size than any King’s ever was, with only one object on the very center; from the entrance of the hall, it looks like a large stone pillar. But once closer, you can clearly see markings on the stone. These markings form the outline of a door, but can be deciphered by no man; they are written in a language that predates all.

Those who reach this door are unable to turn back or look away. Oblivious victims of the evil that lies in wait. It is this unknown force that compels them to examine the pillar closer. Not a single thought crosses their mind; loved ones are forgotten, secret desires neglected.

With the first touch, the stone crumbles. All dust and broken pieces fall into the dark abyss it was sealing. A veil of shadows forbids you from peeking through to the other side. Torches are extinguished and all light fades to nothing as he who stands before it feels the void sucking out the very warmth out of his body.

In the few moments you are allowed to remain in the world of the living, you become aware of your impending doom, the horrible fate you have brought upon yourself. Your mind has now gone blank. An empty vessel, mere puppet waiting for your master to give you the order; the order to take the last step and plunge into the abyss.

And without hesitation, you obey.

There is no pain behind the veil. No happiness or sorrow, no anger.
No emotion or sensation to experience lies hidden in the infinite abyss.
There is only existence in its purest form; enduring, timeless, eternal.

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Devoid of all stimuli, all external feedback from the environment, from its own body, the mind goes insane. Those who are lucky lose their sanity before they can cause any more harm. They are to remain in their prison, their isolation from all to last for all eternity.

You, however…

A voice that belongs to neither a man nor a woman offers you an escape. In exchange for your freedom, you must speak the names of three people. Three people you love, three people you would give your life for. The voice will then show them the same dream that brought you here and you will be returned to your home.

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Some, despite feeling their psyche crumbling, in a final moment of lucidity manage to remain silent, realizing the truth. You, while frantically searching for an end to your torment give the voice the names it desires. The thought that you could return and warn your loved ones of the horror that awaits them, giving you hope.

But the voice only knows lies and deceit. It abandons you, and you are once again left alone. Only now, you are left knowing of the fate that awaits those who follow their dream. Those you once cared for, but will soon no longer even remember.

CREDIT: TheZomber

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11 thoughts on “Behind the Veil”

  1. I liked it, you have talent in creating an ominous and dooming tone in the story. Spooky! But not like horror scary. Keep putting bits and pieces like this type of writing together and you will come up with something that will scare the shit out of us for sure

  2. The story was short, not the scariest, and it wasn’t the most immersing. It didn’t seem that the horror was unknown as the story stated, it was merely overlooked. At the end you have a choice to give up three names and free yourself or stay quiet and save them from the same fate. Giving up the three names of your loved ones, who would do that to someone they considered a loved one. WHICH ONE OF YOUR LOVED ONES DID THAT TO YOU?
    I really like that thought, the only thought you have left to ponder, WHO? How they justly got what they deserved for doing it as well, NOTHING.

  3. So, the problem in this story is the way it tries to change from third person omniscient to second person. Third person knows all. Its duty is to inform and observe. Second person places the reader at the helm of the story, as if everything is happening to the reader. It’s kind of like an interactive story – describing the actions and thoughts of the main character and not much else. Interactive stories traditionally only provide minimal background. In the case of this story, the intro needs to be fixed. The reader should only know what the main character knows because you’re trying to make them one in the same. The story needs to be edited and you (the author, not the reader of this comment) need to pick one of the POVs and frame the story around it. You will be much more successful in getting the reaction you want from your audience.

  4. Not bad. The writing was pretty good, though 2nd person POV stories aren’t really my thing. I think more time spent on the ambience and emotional terror of the POV character would help you out here. I felt like I was just watching a movie. I had no draw into the story other than being addressed by you, the writer. I personally didn’t get much creep out of it. Keep working on your storytelling. You can only improve.

  5. UnforgivingCritic

    Why do so many people like to over elaborate on horror short stories.

    Ripped from Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix, with some salt and lime.

    Don’t need three sentences trying to illustrate the same thing.

    What’s good about horror are the tricks it plays on your mind, you aren’t suppose to show them what to imagine, it’s your own imagination that gets you.

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