FROM NOW ON, IF YOU IGNORE THE FAQ AND ASK ME FOR ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT, YOU FORFEIT YOUR SUBMISSION.
Did I get your attention? Good. For the sake of the main page, the rest of this post is under the ‘read more’ button – however, that does not mean that you can claim ignorance. If you’re considering submitting, make sure that you read this post.
- If you send me messages begging and pleading about how I need to accept your pasta simply because you want me to, all submissions of yours in the queue will be deleted.
- If you bug me about your submission status, I will check for your submission and then delete it.
- If you attempt to use me or Crappypasta as a free proofreading/editing service, your pasta and/or Crappypasta post will be deleted. This means: no more “author’s notes” asking for pity/leniency because your pasta isn’t finished and you’re submitting it anyhow. No more attempts at saving face in the Crappypasta comments by telling us “well, it wasn’t finished anyhow, I only submitted it to get it proofread on here.” No more pleas for me to stop what I’m doing and act as your editor/teacher/beta reader, and especially no more abuse when I tell you no and direct you to the FAQ.
- If you attempt to submit during a closed submission period – via comment, direct email, Contact Us, twitter, passenger pigeon, Hogwart’s Owl (actually, no if you can manage to submit via magical owl, I’ll give you a pass so that you don’t turn me into a newt), whatever other “creative” way you can imagine – your submission will be deleted.
- Multiple offenses of any of these will result in you being blocked from submitting.
- You can avoid ALL OF THIS by simply reading the FAQ and following the rules.
I’m sorry that it had to come to this, but apparently so many of you found it impossible to read the FAQ that I’m getting beyond frustrated. It seemed like the last time that I did this sort of “tough love” consequences for rule-breakers, it actually helped somewhat. It’s been made clear to me lately that apparently these sorts of stringent rules are necessary to be in effect all the time. This is for the sake of my sanity: I seriously considered just saying “screw it” and closing up shop because lately, the community has just been making me incredibly angry rather than excited to run this website. I want to continue to enjoy this, despite how many of you are doing your absolute best to make it an awful experience.
I have taken the time over and over again to ensure that the rules of submission are laid out clearly. I have made many requests for you guys to put a bit more thought into both what you submit and how you treat me. I’ve appealed to your kindness and hoped that by reminding you that I am, in fact, a human being with his own life, you guys might be convinced to show me the respect of acknowledging my rules.
My inbox is completely filled with the submissions and requests of people who have made it very clear that all my attempts to make this manageable have fallen on deaf ears. So I am doing what I have to in order to try and bludgeon the message through to you people, since it’s obvious that the less harsh rules were ineffective.
Thank you for your time, and I sincerely hope that the type of people who this message is aimed at actually read it.