A Recipe For Success
Add this post to your list of favorites!Prominently displayed in the children’s section of the Houston Downtown Public Library, among several others of the same title, My First Cookbook appears as a run-of-the-mill children’s cookbook, complete with large print, simple instructions, colorful, friendly illustrations and a somewhat disproportionate desert section. In fact, the only major deviation from this theme is an article near the end of the book entitled “A Recipe for Success”. This is a complex, macabre ritual involving human sacrifice, self mutilation and sacrilege, as well as more curious and innocuous practices such as walking down a stair case with a prime number of stairs taking them two at a time and then up it taking them three at a time. It’s written in the same cheerfully simple prose as the rest of the book and accompanied by the same helpful, pastel drawings.
A Recipe For Success,
It’s a cookbook, A COOKBOOK!
Anonymous(Quote)
Report comment
Madagascar :D
Craver(Quote)
Report comment
The Twilight Zone, sir.
KarlaRei(Quote)
Report comment
Desdes·ert1 Audio Help /ˈdɛzərt/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[dez-ert] Pronunciation
complete with large print, simple instructions, colorful, friendly illustrations and a somewhat disproportionate desert section.
desert
–noun
1. a region so arid because of little rainfall
Wheat(Quote)
Report comment
What the hell? How did that get in there?
Ahmea(Quote)
Report comment
You’d think someone would notice this, turn to the nearest person, and say a prompt and proper “WTF!?”.
Readman(Quote)
Report comment
teaching children all they need to know about the important things in life such as cooking, human sacrifice and walking up and down staircases like a retard
Havok(Quote)
Report comment
LOLWUT
little miss black cat(Quote)
Report comment
It’ll give them success, ‘though… I suppose.
Dammerung(Quote)
Report comment
I just saw that book on Reading Rainbow.
KXGLSGM(Quote)
Report comment
Ahah! This made me laugh. I seriously want that cookbook. xD
Kitty.(Quote)
Report comment
i dont cook well… so i suppose human sacrifice would be a lot easier, especially with the large print and pretty pictures :D
Ash(Quote)
Report comment
I love deserts. They’re hot dry, and uninhabitable. I guess, then, it would make much sense to put sacrifice, self-mutilation, and sacrilege in the desert section. After all, who would go to a desert? It’s the perfect place.
Foolish(Quote)
Report comment
plus it doesn’t rain in deserts, so mobs will have a 100% of burning in the daylight sun :D
Craver(Quote)
Report comment
Now THAT is going to scar some children for life.
Sigma(Quote)
Report comment
Ooooo I live in Houston, I’m definitely going to look for this one!! But, would there only be one copy…? If so, I’m sure someone has already got it =O
Synful(Quote)
Report comment
So.
I’m hoping I’m not the only one who realizes that you can’t walk a prime number of steps two (or three!) steps at a time. It is pretty much the opposite of the definition of “prime number”.
Anonymous(Quote)
Report comment
>>13
Ah, but when you’re working on a Recipe For Success, it’ll work just fine! It’s like when the recipes asks you to find a triangle who’s internal angles are all 90 degrees, you just find it. Like, despite the impossibility of it all, it was just meant to be.
Anonymous(Quote)
Report comment
do you get to eat the recipe for sucess, cause i got the munchies
whut(Quote)
Report comment
Recipe for success, the real deal
1. Be born
2. ???
3. Profit!
Anon(Quote)
Report comment
I’ve never seen an author so preoccupied with the intrinsic philosophies behind occult stair climbing rituals.
Also, I have this book and will provide the Recipe for Success below:
1) Sell crack.
That is all.
z6(Quote)
Report comment
my stairs have 17 steps and I’ve done this dozens of times… god im genuinely creeped out now.
holy shit(Quote)
Report comment
@18
wdf happened?
A monster suddenly jumped out from under the stairs and shouted “BOO!”?
But the recipe must have other instructions other than meaninglessly climbing up staircases.
So you’re just being creeped out for no reason at all.
Anonymousity x 2(Quote)
Report comment
I’m from Houston.
This is fucking creepy.
The Gube(Quote)
Report comment
It’s a book with a recipe for creepypasta?
I got no Eyes(Quote)
Report comment
hmm… walking up and down stairs?
oh yeah. thats insane.I must go hide under my bed so that the evil staircase monster wont eat me.
FLCL(Quote)
Report comment
If the staircase has a prime number of stairs, then how can you go up and down in twos and threes?
wat(Quote)
Report comment
LOL i think the last recipes or whatever must be for monsta kids or people who it people :P
Midnightgirl(Quote)
Report comment
Walkin’ up the stairs n walkin down the stairs n walkin’ up the stairs n walkin’ down the stairs n walking sideways on the stairs!
NOt U(Quote)
Report comment