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A Chat Over Dinner



Estimated reading time — 2 minutes

If you are the type who eats out regularly, one day a stranger might join you at the table. This stranger will always appear to be of your age and sex, and he (if it is a he) will only appear if you are alone. No matter what style of restaurant it is, he will always be carrying his own plate of food.

After a few seconds, he will look directly at you and say, “You seem like an interesting person. May I know you better?” Say yes, and he will begin to ask you questions about yourself in between bites. These questions will be innocuous enough at first: what your name is, what you do for a living, and so forth, but should you open your mouth to answer, you will be forced to tell the truth, even if you do not consciously know what the truth is. Remain silent, and the stranger will scowl at you, pick up his plate, and leave. You will never see him again. If you do indulge his questions, however, they will grow darker and darker as the food leaves his plate, and it will become harder and harder to resist answering. Do not attempt to leave the table before he does under any circumstances.

When his plate is clean, he will stand up to leave, but not before asking you one last, irresistible question: “What would drive you to take your own life?” You will instantly be aware that you will be able to lie in response to this one question, and I suggest you do, for whatever you describe will come to pass within the week. Those who are canny may use this chat to gain whatever they desire, but know that if the happenstance you name does not drive you to suicide, the stranger will start guessing as to what will. And consider how much he now knows about you.

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Credited to Peter L.

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79 thoughts on “A Chat Over Dinner”

  1. Sunshine:
    @Mr. Pink
    If you told him nothing could drive you to suicide, I imagine that your entire existence would become nothing. You’d lose everything, and see no other option than to kill yourself.
    (:

    just say your un-killable

  2. searched “starcraft” on crappypasta.com for starcraft crappypastas to make zergy jokes on, got this instead.

  3. Meh. I tell the truth anyway. The things I do not want to tell, I don’t bring up. If another brought it up I would wonder why they would ask such things. Anyways, nice story and I rate this 4/10.

    Sincerely,
    Grim Gamer

  4. Guess the bottom line is “don’t talk to strangers (especially uninvited ones)”, but what if someone answered “be the last being in the whole world”?

  5. Sorry but if Im eating alone please dont interrupt me and attempt to talk to me. There’s a reason Im alone, I wanna enjoy my Panda Express in peace! Now go interrogate someone else.

  6. I kind if wish that this was real (please fucking be) because I could use that last part to finally make my darkest desires come true ahahaha

  7. On the question “What would drive you to take your own life?” I would answer “To see you getting your head chopped off in a freak accident.” . There, problem solved. Nobody fucks with my superior intellect.

  8. Why should I talk to this person? It’s a stranger asking strange questions about me, who’s finally going to kill me (lead me to kill myself)…

  9. I actually really liked this and I hate ritual pastas. The only thing I didn’t like was that there wasn’t much of a point…if he’s asking the questions you don’t really get to discover amazing things about the universe you didn’t know you knew, and if you do obtain the knowledge you either suffer or die whether you answer him truthfully or not. I suppose it’s much better than a lot of pastas. Kudos.

  10. what happens if i leave the table great story but i would like it to be a little more detailed an what if to the last question i say for my ex gf to come back an him to kill himself

  11. I liked this pasta. Though if a stranger sat down with me I’d ignore them- social anxiety to the rescue! lol

  12. holy cheesits!

    holy cheesits!!! guys this isnt fake!!! oh my god!!!! this happened to my brother!!! he told me he was out eating because he was hungry and was too lazy to cook (lazy pig) so when he went he said a man came with a plate of chips and started talking to him., asked him questiona like his name, age, was he in any relasionships, then at the end of the meal apparantly he said ‘what would drive you to take your own life?’ and he didnt answer the man gave him a pissed face and walked out

  13. @Mr. Pink
    If you told him nothing could drive you to suicide, I imagine that your entire existence would become nothing. You’d lose everything, and see no other option than to kill yourself.
    (:

  14. It isn’t what you fear the most, it’s what would drive you to kill yourself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something that scares you, just something that would make you want to kill yourself. Via hysteria or depression per say.

  15. “What would drive you to kill yourself?”
    “To have women swoon over me because of my sensuous Starcraft 2 skills which makes Idra rage and end up in an epic quest that kills you…Yup.”

  16. “What would drive you to kill yourself?”
    “If you left this table, and never thought about me again.”

    PROBLEM: SOLVED.

  17. I’d just be an asshole.

    “What could drive you to suicide?”
    “Knowing you got hit by a train on the way home tonight because I kept you here for too long with this discussion.”

  18. Like someone mentioned, this has a very high possibility of happening. Normally, when this happens, we think the person is freaky, strange etc and we leave the table to find another one or even a new restaurant all together.

    I liked the information at the end. And seeing as how he/she may be very old and probably have already mastered this game of judging people’s character, he/she will probably figure out the answer to the last question anyway.

  19. @Schteve ppl who live alone and have a broken kitchen duh

    what if i just reach across the tabe geab his plate and slam it aginst his face?

  20. Here is how you handle the chap.

    Answer his questions. Answer them all. with subtlety, reach your fork to his plate and eat his food. The less he eats, the less he can know, just in case.

    At his final question, say to him, “I would take my own life if , and if at the same time you forgot who I am, and would never do anything to harm me from that point on.”

  21. > WHO WAS DINNER?!

    You!

    (I’m confused. The story says one can use the suicide question to one’s advantage, but how exactly is it an advantage if the guy will then continue to make your life shitty until he gets what he wants?)

  22. Least he could do is pay for the check if “he” is going to scare the living daylights out of you. Christ. @_@

  23. The only right answer is of course “If you gave me 10 million dollars and then killed yourself.”

    What happens if he ordered something better and you steal bites of his when he isn’t looking?

  24. It carries a reward, but I don’t understand how you would obtain anything you desire from conversation with this man.

    1. Because if you say to the man that if you got something you wanted you would take your own life, then you would get the thing you wanted.
      Example: “What would drive you to take your own life?” You could say, “An Xbox 360.” or “A new car and house.”

  25. lol. i ate alone once in my life at mcdonalds…it was so sad T_T. i dont think i have to worry about a stranger comin up to me, its unlikely to happen again:P

  26. I agree with Fund. It’s nice to see one that is actually a somewhat balanced risk vs. reward situation instead of YOU DIE or NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS.

  27. Pew Pew Laser Gun

    Not creepy, but really interesting and definitely well-written. I liked it, despite the non-creepiness. And, Candlejack, sorry to hear about your cli

  28. Better than most pastas about supernatural deals. This pasta offers both pro and con to accepting the contract while many others are overwhelming good, bad or nonsensical. I enjoyed it.

  29. Wait, what? I do this for a living. I am a professional come-sit-at-your-table-and-ask-you-random-questions-about-yourself-while-we-are-eating guy. :( shit.

  30. ummmmmm…note to self,cancel dinner on my mental health day by myself,maybe take the girlfriend out to a movie…

  31. I liked this one. It was something I could easily imagine happening, since I’m not really secretive about myself that much, anyway….

    Though, it wasn’t THAT scary.

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